Woody Allen

"My brain? That's my second favorite organ."

"The artist's job is not to succumb to despair but to find an antidote for the emptiness of existence."

"Seventy percent of success in life is showing up."

"God is silent. Now if only man would shut up."

"I did not marry the first girl that I fell in love with, because there was a tremendous religious conflict, at the time. She was an atheist, and I was an agnostic."

"I'm not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens."

"I think being funny is not anyone's first choice."

"If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans."

"It's a wonderful thing to be able to create your own world whenever you want to."

"I don't know the question, but sex is definitely the answer."

"I did not marry the first girl that I fell in love with, because there was a tremendous religious conflict, at the time. She was an atheist, and I was an agnostic."

"If you're not failing every now and again, it's a sign you're not doing anything very innovative."

"If it turns out that there is a God...the worst that you can say about him is that basically he's an underachiever."

"Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too soon."

"Seventy percent of success in life is showing up."

"Seventy percent of success in life is showing up."

"Photons have mass? I didn’t even know they were Catholic."

"My one regret in life is that I am not someone else."

"Because it's much more pleasant to be obsessed over how the hero gets out of his predicament than it is over how I get out of mine."

"Eighty percent of success is showing up."