humor

"Good sex is like good bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand."

"Colombian humor is very black, very sarcastic."

"There is - I mean - I found early in life that righteous indignation is a little off-putting, and so I try to couch it with humor."

"I have two hands, so when I’m networking and I meet two new people, is it OK to shake both their hands at once? Or would it be more appropriate to organize a group hug?"

"Investigation?"Isabelle laughed. "Now we're detectives? Maybe we should all have code names.""Good idea,"said Jace. "I shall be Baron Hotschaft Von Hugenstein."

"There is a thin line that separates laughter and pain, comedy and tragedy, humor and hurt."

"This calls for a very special blend of psychology and extreme violence."

"Trophies are clutter at best, and weapons at worst. I prefer my awards heavy and with handles."

"The food was so good that with each passing course, our conversation devolved further into fragmented celebrations of its deliciousness:'I want this dragon carrot risotto to become a person so I can take it to Las Vegas and marry it."

"Kevin Love has a last name that sums up my feelings for you. But then again, so does Renaldo Letsfucktonight."

"For instance, this new idea that You-Know-Who can kill with a single glance from his eyes. That’s a basilisk, listeners. One simple test: Check whether the thing that’s glaring at you has got legs. If it has, it’s safe to look into its eyes, although if it really is You-Know-Who, that’s still likely to be the last thing you ever do."

"And besides . . . I don’t want to leave you. Er, you guys.”He smiled, and it lit up his whole face. “Well, ‘we’ are certainly happy to hear that. Oh, and I’m also happy to watch our darling little love child dragon while you’re in St. Louis.”I grinned back."

"You know what I like most about people? Pets."

"It has been said, 'time heals all wounds.' I do not agree. The wounds remain. In time, the mind, protecting its sanity, covers them with scar tissue and the pain lessens. But it is never gone."

"Every guy says he's not like every guy, thus proving he is like every guy. Show me a guy who's different, and I'll tell you to stop pointing at me."

"When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years."

"You are speaking of my future lover. Be more respectful."

"For me, I really love 'Tim and Eric' and 'Dr. Steve Brule' and a lot of the Adult Swim shows, so I like strange, weird, sometimes slightly upsetting humor."

"When the silent flamingo dances pink with desire, I’ll be there, sipping on owl stares and kitten curls."

"I'm going to do a lot of weird stuff that's not going to be like me prancing around like an insane 12-year-old. I showed everybody that side of me and I think it's time to do different stuff, even when it comes down to the type of humor. I want to do some drier, weirder stuff."