#Sex

"Science is like sex: sometimes something useful comes out, but that is not the reason we are doing it."

"When we make love, I orgasm much sooner than her. That’s because I know a shortcut on my bicycle."

"Every time I've done comedy in, like, traditional comedy clubs, there's always these comedians that do really well with audiences but that the other comedians hate because they're just, you know, doing kind of cheap stuff like dancing around or doing, like, very kind of base sex humor a lot, and stuff like that."

"Please, touch me, I pray."

"A rose is a mixture of flower and thorns, which means it’s half “Let’s fuck,” and half “fuck you."

"If you have a story that seems worth telling, and you think you can tell it worthily, then the thing for you to do is to tell it, regardless of whether it has to do with sex, sailors or mounted policemen."

"I want to write a song about retaliation called, "Oh Yeah, and I Faked Every Orgasm...While You Were Out of Town."

"The only sea I saw Was the seesaw sea With you riding on it. Lie down, lie easy. Let me shipwreck in your thighs."

"Riding a bicycle makes you impotent. That’s why I carry a bicycle seat in my pocket—because it’s better than wearing a condom."

"Self-respect. It would make me lovable. And it's the secret to good sex."

"If a man can possess a woman sexually -really possess- he won't need to control her ideas, her opinions, her clothes, her friends, even her other lovers."

"I make love like my afternoon shadow is long. I'll bring the foreplay, if you bring the guacamole. (Yes, I know there is a 99-cent upcharge.)"

"I began to realize what everyone in the world knows and routinely forgets: that to be loved sexually is to be loved not for one's actual self but for one's ability to arouse desire in the other...Only the thoughts in one's mind or intuitions of the spirit can attract permanently..."

"A woman can become a man's friend only in the following stages - first an acquantaince, next a mistress, and only then a friend."

"I make love like the 13th floor is the 14th floor of a hotel. I give it that little extra that takes it to a whole new level."

"I wish I had invented blue jeans. They have expression, modesty, sex appeal, simplicity - all I hope for in my clothes."

"Physics is like sex: sure, it may give some practical results, but that's not why we do it."

"Those sweet lips. My, oh my, I could kiss those lips all night long.Good things come to those who wait."

"Fidelity is a living, breathing entity. On wobbly footing, it can wander, becoming something different entirely."

"When you've been around as long as me, Lucy, you'll know that there are three types of sex... One - brand-new, kitchen-table sex. Two - bedroom sex. Then number three - hallway sex, when you pass each other in the hallway and say 'Fuck you.'"- Lockie"