humor

"Take care of the sense and the sounds will take care of themselves."

"No man's life, liberty, or property are safe while the legislature is in session."

"Four be the things I'd have been better without: love, curiosity, freckles and doubt."

"There's humor in everything. There's gotta be humor in everything."

"I thought my family was really funny. Everybody in my family was funny. My mom and dad both have great senses of humor and really saw the funny in stuff, so I think that's probably where it came from. I always try to see the funny in things."

"I'm lucky that my real-life Mom has both a great sense of humor about herself and an amazing ability to slip into complete denial if the subject matter gets a little too close to home."

"I think humor is important for all of us, and a great comedian is a great treasure."

"Did you see me disarm Hermione, Harry?""Only once"said Hermione stung. "I got you loads more then you got me—""I did not only get you once, I got you at least three times—""Well if you're counting the one where you tripped over your own feet and knocked the wand out of my hand—"

"I think about her sometimes, and wonder what she’s doing and who she’s doing it with. I suppose I could just stalk her Facebook page like a normal person, but that doesn’t seem as romantic as surveillance and GPS tracking."

"I make jokes because humor is the greatest healing factor that there is."

"She’ll come to love me or she won’t. I’m a fisherman, not a hunter."

"I love to sleep. Do you? Isn't it great? It really is the best of both worlds. You get to be alive and unconscious."

"Some people grow vegetables by day, but I grow shadows by night. Right now my only customer is the US government, but the profit is unbelievable."

"I don't mean to be rude—"he began, in a tone that threatened rudeness in every syllable."Yet, sadly, accidental rudeness occurs alarmingly often,"Dumbledore finished the sentence gravely."

"Blood may be thicker than water, but it's certainly not as thick as ketchup. Nor does it go as well with French fries."

"Karl Marx: "Religion is the opiate of the masses."Carrie Fisher: "I did masses of opiates religiously."

"Good humor isn't a trait of character, it is an art which requires practice."

"Think, think, think."

"When tragedy hits close to home, like your neighbor’s house, it really makes you stop and think. And while you’re thinking, I’ll be speeding off in the getaway car."

"Self-growth comes from being nurtured, not tortured. I had to learn this the hard way. On sale now: Iron Maiden. Only used once."