#Funny

"My love is like the shape your mouth makes while you whistle. Would you mind if I accompanied you on my harmonica?"

"Hey, Mr. Nakata. Gramps. Fire! Flood! Earthquake! Revolution! Godzilla's on the loose! Get up!"

"I haven’t spent my time trying to duplicate my success. But only because I haven’t had any yet."

"I had a dream about you last night... You tried to propose with a digital ceramic heater."

"The reason for the unreason with which you treat my reason , so weakens my reason that with reason I complain of your beauty."

"Nothing like having a warrant for your execution to get a girl motivated."

"I came from a real tough neighborhood. Once a guy pulled a knife on me. I knew he wasn't a professional, the knife had butter on it."

"Dude. Hot Bozo. Best nickname ever."

"Love is like a river flowing through your heart. I’ll bring the boat, if you bring the bridge."

"When I turn back to Jase, he’s again beaming at me. “You’re nice.” He sounds pleased, as if he hadn’t expected this aspect of my personality."

"I'm not the smartest fellow in the world, but I can sure pick smart colleagues."

"When I started, I wanted to be thought of as tortured and seductive, not funny, but humor tends to be a reflexive part of a person's sensibility. It's an almost impossible thing to teach anyone, which leads me to believe that it's intuitive."

"My couch is coffee-colored. I can thank Starbucks and clumsiness for that."

"A good actor is someone who knows how to take the part and make it real and make it honest and be effective in it. If it's in a funny movie and, as long as they are cast in an appropriate way, humor will come from it."

"I’m not going to lecture you on the error of your ways. Not until you fetch me a podium and a microphone. I’ll also need a screen, a projector, and a laser pointer."

"CONFESSION NO. 18 Girls just want to have fun…and live to tell about it the next day."

"However, frat-boy humor is funny and it always will be."

"Love is like jumping out of an airplane with no parachute. But there’s no need to be frightened, because that plane is still on the ground."

"How to duplicate yourself: hang out with the same people and say the same things all the time. The you of today is a clone of the you from yesterday."

"A coffin would make a great suitcase. If I folded it neatly, I’ll bet I could pack in all my love for you."