#humor

"Sane is boring."

"Early on I set out to write the next Great American Novel, and then later on I set out the silverware and enjoyed my dinner in silence."

"Getting married is like trading in the adoration of many for the sarcasm of one."

"Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity."

"What makes you think that Valentine's change of plans had anything to do with your brother?""Because only Jace can piss someone off that much."

"Mild Suffering vs. Great Suffering Mild suffering serves the purpose of inner-change.Great suffering serves the purpose of evil,or just being at the wrong place at the wrong time."

"Flood of Feeling {Couplet} A flood of feeling is a poem,created from daydreaming in the zone.The levees break, emotions snake,from imagination's ocean who sets the stakes."

"Everyone looks retarded once you set your mind to it."

"If it’s true that our species is alone in the universe, then I’d have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little."

"...cursing my heels and debating whether it was faster to stop and take them off--damn ankle straps!--or keep running with the potential neck breakers. Wouldn’t that make a charming epitaph? Here lies Cat. Killed not by fang, but Ferragamos."

"Never knock on death's door. Ring the doorbell then run. He totally hates that. - T-shirt"

"Trophies are clutter at best, and weapons at worst. I prefer my awards heavy and with handles."

"Expectation [10w] Eyes that see with expectation lieby not querying, 'Why."

"Love is like breakfast with Mildred. Who’s Mildred? How the heck should I know? I don’t eat breakfast."

"... human beings fear the unknown. So, whatever's freaking you out, grab it by the balls and say hello."

"While Owen and Miles talk sports, I people watch. And this is what I see: teenagers trying to act like adults. Or how they think adults act. But mostly they look ridiculous, and I wonder what they don't want to do something that's more fun than drinking, smoking, flirting, and making out. Why are those activities considered to be fun?"

"Write it. Shoot it. Publish it. Crochet it, sauté it, whatever. MAKE."

"If a cricketer, for instance, suddenly decided to go into a school and batter a lot of people to death with a cricket bat, which he could do very easily, I mean, are you going to ban cricket bats?"

"When you say gorgeous,” Jen started, “are we talking Brad Pitt boyish good looks, or Johnny Depp make ya want to slap somebody?” “No, we’re talking Brad and Johnny need to bow down and recognize” Jacque answered."

"My heart can hold all the love you give me. If you need to quantify it to properly price it for sale, it would be one gallon."