#humor

"Please, Percy...change your clothes. You smell like you've been run over by an electric horse."

"Imaginary Friends When my childhood imaginary friend got mad at mehe insulted me by calling me 'real'."

"I prefer long-distance relationships. If we were dating, would you be offended if I asked you to stand back a few feet?"

"Down in the water, Octavian yelled, “Get me out of here! I’ll kill you!”“Tempting,” Percy called down."

"Broken Heart [10W] The broken heart becomes volcanic, forever rumbling anddispersing ash."

"Anxiety's like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do, but it doesn't get you very far."

"If your treated like a puppet find a new ball of string"

"One glance and I knew exactly who and what he was. The classic alpha male, the kind who had spurred evolution forward about five million years ago by nailing every female in sight. They charmed, seduced, and behaved like bastards, and yet women were biologically incapable of resisting their magic DNA."

"Hey, look—your girlfriend is saying something."Artemis had a vast mental reserve of scathing comebacks at his disposal, but none of them covered girlfriend insults. He wasn't even sure if it was an insult. And if it was, who was being insulted? Him or the girl?"

"The love of books is among the choicest gifts of the gods."

"Expectation [10w] Eyes that see with expectation lieby not querying, 'Why."

"O God O God I love you.I worship you, I need you.Everything I am is because of you.Everything.O God I hate you."

"Knocking on a door is so violent. Talk on the door. Try to get it to open up through communication, not violence."

"My heart is spinning. Love is a tornado. Will you be my Kansas?"

"Coaching 101: First you build the team, and then you build the torture chamber for underperformers."

"Dear God in heaven.” Nik and Ban turned away, but Alek stood. Transfixed. “My God, y’all. She’s the worst goddamn dancer I’ve ever seen.” “Turn away. It’ll hurt your eyes. Turn away!"

"He smiled in a way that made me want to kiss him right on the spot. Or the lips. Whichever was closer."

"Hello, Minister!"bellowed Percy, sending a neat jinx straight at Thicknesse, who dropped his wand and clawed at the front of his robes, apparently in awful discomfort. "Did I mention I'm resigning?"

"If you want to bend your mind, don’t use a crowbar."

"It s amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper."