"Well, what I don't understand is why people get all dressed up and drive to church so they can sit there and get scolded. Seems to me it'd be a whole lot easier for the to just stay home in their pj's, eat pancakes, and get yelled at over the radion."
#humor
4537 quotes about humor
Discover inspiring humor quotes from famous authors and thought leaders. Find wisdom and motivation about humor to inspire your life.
humor Quotes
"Thank You, Adobe [10w] Thanks to Photoshop,a picture isn't worth a single word."
"Properly practiced, knitting soothes the troubled spirit, and it doesn't hurt the untroubled spirit either."
"I like eating extra-virgin coconut oil. That’s like super non-fucked coconut oil."
"Love is a green sky on a blue pasture, and I am the flying cow eating it all up."
"Har. Bloody. Har."
"If you can't make ends meet, meet them in the middle instead"
"Regret vs. Good Times "If I had to regret the good times I spent with every lover who eventually disillusioned me,my love life would be reduced to ten seconds."
"A lot of people ask me if I were shipwrecked, and could have only one book, what would it be? I always say, "How to Build a Boat."
"Simply Fabulous Haiku If I write fablesam I a fabulist orsimply fabulous?"
"Do you wanna play? Everyone's dead, so I got bored. Did you come to play with me?--Wrath"
"Butch tightened his grip on his cell and wished there were an app that let you reach through a phone and bitch slap someone."
"If I had no clothes it’d be winter. If I were naked, it’d be the truth and we could lie together."
"Got it. Demon. Death. Doom."
"Civilization exists by geological consent, subject to change without notice."
"You know how spooky Ashwini is. She called an hour ago to tell me she has a secret stash of handheld grenade launchers she thought I might want to know about. My response was, 'What the fuck?"
"Curiouser and curiouser!"
"Integrity [10w] There’s no indignity men of integrity aren’t willing to endure."
"Shut up!"Eve yelled from somewhere upstairs. "Jackass!""You know, when people say that, I just hear the word awesome,"
"I'm calling it the Watney Triangle because after what I've been through, shit on Mars should be named after me."