#humor

"There's nothing more contagious than the laughter of young children; it doesn't even have to matter what they're laughing about."

"Love Scars Love leaves more scars than a ten car pile-up ~and nobody's got insurance."

"Stories of imagination tend to upset those without one."

"Telekinetic Poker Players Telekinetic poker players have a tell when they're bluffing:they always raise you."

"The Poet's Disease My body atrophies.My mind swells.Imagination's become my crutch."

"Q & A The illness of our time is not that we lack for answers;man's tragedy is that we've forgotten the important questions."

"I always wear gloves when I wash my hands. That’s also how I make love, and if you buy now I’ll throw in an extra bar of soap for FREE."

"I went to a potluck. I brought my own pot—and luck. The pot was empty, just like my promise to bring food the next time."

"There's no trouble in this world so serious that it can't be cured with a hot bath, a glass of whiskey, and the Book of Common Prayer."

"A Suicide's Regret "I cut my vein in vain;blood slowly oozes out.I should've cut an arteryand watch it spurt and spout."

"Can't you just like a girl who likes you back?''None of them likes me back. I may as well like the one I really want."

"Meek [10w] Blessed are the meek, for they've learned how to duck."

"Between hello and goodbye is I love you."

"I still remember her meandering Mississippi kiss. I sipped it like a riverboat captain in the desert. Ah, to be young and naughtily nautical."

"Humble Wishes [10w] "God, all I simply ask is that I become perfect."

"Quotation, n: The act of repeating erroneously the words of another."

"I sold ten bags of hellos for five bags of goodbyes. I’d say that’s a good profit. Or it was, before I blew all my goodbyes on ex lovers."

"When I get sad, I stop being sad and be awesome instead."

"Silver is an investment. It’s like a second-place future. Makes me want to create Michael Phelps-flavored ice cream and eat a whole tub."

"No. Don't distract me with your sexy talk."