#humor

"Wretched [10w] Intelligence without compassion is an invitation to a wretched life."

"CUSTOMER: If I were to, say... meet the love of my life in this bookshop, what section do you think they would be standing in?"

"Using my thumb and middle finger, I tend to make snap decisions. Right away I know whether I like a song or not."

"Five exclamation marks, the sure sign of an insane mind."

"Words of Wisdom [10w] Words of wisdom worth saying wouldfit on a T-shirt.@:::::@:::::@:::::@:::::@:::::@:::::@:::::@:::::@:::::@­:::::"

"There’s truth and honor in a mustache. And that’s why I started flying one on the flagpole outside of my house."

"A literary academic can no more pass a bookstore than an alcoholic can pass a bar."

"The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it."

"Just relax and breathe through your ass."

"She can go with us to the lab and keep Myrnin pinned down while we pull the plug, if he's not... you know, better.""Define BETTER with that guy.""Not all fangs and raaaaar."

"When a man learns to love, he must bear the risk of hatred."

"I [10w] 'I' is a wellspring in the desertoverflowing with life."

"If cats looked like frogs we'd realize what nasty, cruel little bastards they are. Style. That's what people remember."

"Disbelief in magic can force a poor soul into believing in government and business."

"Last night I didn’t sleep for a solid eight hours. No, it melted a little. Damn global warming."

"We are not going to die."Butters stared up at me, pale, his eyes terrified. "We're not?""No. And do you know why?"He shook his head. "Because Thomas is too pretty to die. And because I'm too stubborn to die."I hauled on the shirt even harder. "And most of all because tomorrow is Oktoberfest, Butters, and polka will never die."

"Yams vs. Sweet Potatoes vs. Cassava vs. Popeye [10w] "I am that I am that I am a yam."

"Have you made any other friends since we've been here?"I gave him the death stare. "Yes, actually.""Who? I want a name.""Jamie Roth.""The Ebola kid? I heard he's a little unstable.""That was one incident."

"One time I actually cleaned out my closet so good I ended up on the cover of Time magazine."

"If we make it out of this alive, I’ll kill you. So you have that to look forward to."