JA

Jarod Kintz, $3.33

69 quotes

Quotes by Jarod Kintz, $3.33

"I haven’t been feeling like myself lately. No, I’ve been feeling like my clone."
"On the night of the murder I was at home, asleep. The characters in my dream can vouch for me."
"There’s nothing funny about war. Well, aside from this joke Orafoura told me: What did WWI say to WWII? I wish I could tell you the punch line, but the restaurant was so noisy that I didn’t hear it. But I laughed anyway, because I’ll bet it was pretty funny."
"I smiled, and you winked. I think. Perhaps you merely blink with one eye at a time."
"I’m very close to my dad. He’s about six inches away right now and snoring in my ears."
"I lost a little weight over the weekend. I cut my fingernails."
"If you tell me I look like someone you know, I might get panicked and think you’re on to me. I thought nobody saw me abduct that guy and steal his identity."
"The only reason my wife agreed to marry me is because Christian Bale wasn’t around to propose to her."
"I’m very close to my dad. He’s about six inches away right now and snoring in my ears."
"There is safety in numbers. And science. Clone your way to being safe. Nobody can protect you like you. And you and you and you."
"Patience and wisdom walk hand in hand, like two one-armed lovers."
"I was going to change my clothes, but I changed my mind instead."