#humor

"Watching Jace hug Isabelle, she tried to school her features into a happy and loving expression."Are you all right?"Simon asked, with some concern. "Your eyes are crossing."

"I’m running from the very person I’m chasing, and this is how I know I’m in love."

"If you can't win by reason, go for volume."

"The Delinquent Girl Chronicles Ages 7-11: Skip ropeAges 12-16: Skip classAge 17: Skip periodAge 18: Skip coming homeAge 19: Skip town"

"I am a wizard, not a baboon brandishing a stick."

"We are gods with anuses."

"Humor is what happens when we're told the truth quicker and more directly than we're used to."

"I love people who make me laugh. I honestly think it's the thing I like most, to laugh. It cures a multitude of ills. It's probably the most important thing in a person."

"Regret vs. Good Times "If I had to regret the good times I spent with every lover who eventually disillusioned me,my love life would be reduced to ten seconds."

"Still it might be nice, once in a while, not to have to choose between evils. Just once, couldn't I choose the lesser good?"

"My name is Percy Jackson. I'm twelve years old. Until a few months ago, I was a boarding student at Yancy Academy, a private school for troubled kids in upstate New York.Am I a troubled kid?Yeah. You could say that."

"Four be the things I'd have been better without: love, curiosity, freckles and doubt."

"Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe."

"Memory Foam [10w] She had an ass like an elephants memoryfoam pillow."

"The biggest challenge after success is shutting up about it."

"Dating Asian Her Kung Fu style was not too bad,but at doggie style she had me had."

"I just can't listen to any more Wagner, you know...I'm starting to get the urge to conquer Poland."

"She said love her or be tortured by her. I replied, "Torture would be less painful."She didn't realize that I'm a true romantic."

"Grandpa often tells me I dance like my legs are engulfed in flames. I just go out there and put the fire of desire in women’s hearts."

"I suppose it’s not a social norm, and not a manly thing to do — to feel, discuss feelings. So that’s what I’m giving the finger to. Social norms and stuff…what good are social norms, really? I think all they do is project a limited and harmful image of people. It thus impedes a broader social acceptance of what someone, or a group of people, might actually be like."