#humor

"Party Hat [10w] Circus clowns, Frenchmen, and sanitation workers look better in party-hats.."

"Taste [10w] + [10w] "If you have sophisticated taste, you like what I like.If you're a Neanderthal, you will love what I hate."

"Enormous? Did you just call me FAT? I am not fat. - Jace"

"I can talk to fish!"Angel said happily, water dripping off her long, skinny body. "Ask one over for dinner,"Fang said, joining us."

"To lose one parent may be regarded as a misfortune; to lose both looks like carelessness."

"Oh well... I'd just been thinking, if you had died, you'd have been welcome to share my toilet."

"God ordered the world and all things in it, and I ordered a pizza and all things on it."

"Intelligent men are dangerous."

"I need more frugality. I wonder where I can buy some."

"Cat, hmmm? From where I sit you look more like a Kitten."My head jerked around and I shot him an annoyed look. Oh, I was going to enjoy this, all right. "It's Cat,"I repeated firmly. "Cat Raven.""Whatever you say, Kitten Tweedy."

"To show you I love you, I bought you an antique watch. You can tell it's old because it doesn't even work. I got a great deal on it."

"Shadows are only Neutral at Noon [10w] + {Couplet} Whose side shadows fall upon,tis' ordained by reigning sun."

"I had a dream about you last night... you were there."

"What do you think they're going to do to us when they find us guilty?"she says after a few minutes of silence have passed."Honestly?""Does now seem like the time for honesty?"I look at her from the corner of my eye. "I think they're going to force us to eat lots of cake and then take an unreasonably long nap."

"I always pass on good advice. It is the only thing to do with it. It is never of any use to oneself."

"It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife."

"Blood may be thicker than water, but it's certainly not as thick as ketchup. Nor does it go as well with French fries."

"An empty coffee cup is full of hope. Now there’s something worth voting for."

"Cricket Bell.” I smiled into my phone. “How did you get so wise?"

"Brownie Mix [10w] + {Couplet} Betwixt hell and the River Styx,I'll be shitting bricks."