#Funny

"Adam's response was buried in the sound of the first-story door falling open. Noah slouched in. In a wounded tone, he said, "He threw me out the window!"Ronan's voice sang out from behind his closed door: "You're already dead!"

"Pain produces progress. So if you truly love me, you will try to hurt me as much as you can. If you really want me to grow as a person, you will water me with betrayal, abuse, neglect, derision, thievery, and possibly even torture."

"I love apricots. They’re so fuzzy they’re furry. They’re like little pets you can eat legally."

"Nerd life is just so much better than regular life."

"Emergency Valve Regulators,"she repeated. "So you do know what your doing?"Not really,"he said yanking another wire. 'I made up that term to keep you happy. I'm just pulling all the red wires because they're the pretty ones."

"I know a woman loves me when she leaves me leftovers in the fridge from the date she went on the night before."

"If you don’t know how to love, then any old robot or mechanical device would best suit your relationship style. In this situation, vacuum cleaners might make the best lovers."

"Cat, hmmm? From where I sit you look more like a Kitten."My head jerked around and I shot him an annoyed look. Oh, I was going to enjoy this, all right. "It's Cat,"I repeated firmly. "Cat Raven.""Whatever you say, Kitten Tweedy."

"My father sacrificed his life for our family when I was growing up. He was one of the bravest, wisest, and most unselfish goats I have ever known, and I will miss his cheese dearly."

"How dare you open a spaceman's helmet on an uncharted planet? My eyeballs could've been sucked from their sockets!"

"I could name my penis Steve, and it would be appropriate, as it is sort of shaped like my dad’s face, whose name is Steve. Not just his face, but his whole body and person is named Steve. And he’s a dick."

"His fingers lightly grazed my cheek. "I didn't know you before. When you're not there, I can't concentrate. I'm wondering where you are, what you're doing...if you're there and I can see you, I can see you, I can focus. I know it's crazy, but that's how it is.""And crazy is exactly the way I like it,"I said, leaning up to kiss his lips."Obviously,"America muttered under breath."

"They love their hair because they're not smart enough to love something more interesting."

"Never let go of a good thing without a fight. Especially if that good thing is a pair of boxing gloves."

"I love you because I love you, and if you don’t like it you can use my circular logic as a noose and hang yourself."

"What are you?” he demanded. “A slayer?"I rolled my eyes. “The name's Val, not Buffy. Do I look like a blond cheerleader with questionable taste in men?"

"As much as I want to make love to you, I’d rather make love to your clone."

"I don't hate you.. I just don't like that you exist"

"Sane is boring."

"Every time you try to flirt with her, a puppy dies."