#word-junkies

"Nothing carries meaning. People carry meaning. We are the porters of importance."

"During my darkest hour, life threw me some curves. Thankfully they were in the shape of a woman’s body."

"Love may make you feel blue, love may make you feel green, and sometimes love may even make you feel turquoise or teal. Depression and envy get all the pretty shades of description, and I love that, but in a pink/purple kind of way."

"All my failures as a human being I blame on my father. Life is about accepting responsibility, and it’s time my father started being held accountable for my deficiencies."

"The pink sunset reminds me of her, and the calm water matches the calm that images of her bring to my heart."

"The most enjoyable book in the world is the phone book, because think of all the sex that went into creating the content."

"Your fantasies define you, so dream carefully. A man with no imagination is a man with no future in today’s world—and no past in tomorrow’s."

"She doesn’t want me to leave, and she doesn’t want me to stay. That’s a double helping of Doesn’t Want Me, and one big I’m Not Hungry back at her."

"I know she is going on vacation, so I knitted her a sweater. It matches the bathing suit I knitted her, and it’s as revealing as my feelings for her."

"The word very will vary in muchiness. I love you very much, and that won’t vary from day to day."

"The harmonica has musical wind, and is the breath of soul. It’s like a sad, lonely I love you lost in the breeze."

"To show you I love you, I bought you an antique watch. You can tell it's old because it doesn't even work. I got a great deal on it."

"Nostalgia is being blind to the bad and only remembering the good. Thinking about all the love I had for her is a positively Helen-Kelleresque experience."

"Networking is like fishing. Just give some beer and a boat and I’ll be in business."

"Under the guise of being nice guys, the central bankers have done to the people what no army in history has been evil enough to do."

"She said, “I’m having the stairs rebuilt,” and I replied, “No need to get sexual with me.” I’m a bring my own elevator kind of lover anyway."

"Be memorable. Say something unforgettable. Be silent."

"He’s right-handed, so I told him to draw his self-portrait with his left hand, because it’d look so ugly it’d look realistic. Since he’s a DC politician, I figured a little reality was needed in his life."

"She's beautiful, but so what? If the University of Florida taught me anything, it's that beautiful women are everywhere. The trick is to find the diamond among all the glittering cubic zirconias."

"I remember being surrounded by the heaven-sent scent of July pine in the Rockies, as you and I laughed and danced like the snow would never come. Now, as the snow covers everything, just like I in these sheets, I close my eyes, preparing myself to see you again, my summer queen.-Jarod Kintz and Tanzy Sayadi"