#word-junkies

"Drink my Distraction Juice (not from concentrate). It tastes like love, only not so focused on just one ingredient."

"It's a black and white issue: gray is grey, and there's no two ways about it."

"I know a thing or two about love. Well, maybe just a thing. A big, blurry thing, like Bigfoot."

"The aching in my chest isn't because I miss you,it's realizing that you have become someone I no longer know,your fears, your 4 am thoughts, your achievements,are things I no longer have an equivalent to.Who we were and who we are are four different people, and the me from now doesn't relate to the me from then, let alone to the you from now.-Tanzy Sayadi and Jarod Kintz"

"Losing your mind is preferable to losing your woman, because if you lose your woman you will also lose your mind, and then you’re left with nothing."

"Wherever there’s a gathering of people, there is networking going on. My favorite place to network is the cemetery."

"At church, during communion, they give out free wine. Whoa! Talk about a great place to drink and meet women."

"I have a Rubik’s Cube for a rearview mirror, because the past is the only time puzzle I can solve. My love for her only looks clear there."

"Life, it’s made up of two things—time and love. A watch tells one, but what tells the other? We tell each other."

"Both of the items were used in an attempted murder, but hers was a dagger, and mine was a baby’s rubber bottle nipple. That was the last time I took a stab at love."

"Of all sports, wrestling is the most like cuddling. I’m all sweaty because I’m training hard to show her how much I love her."

"Instead of reciting her an original love poem using words, I think I’ll use my tongue to more creatively explore the deepest parts of her."

"What makes a good leader? I ask myself this every day, and then as I begin to list off characteristics I realize I’m describing myself. Am I the ideal leader? Let’s just say that if I were running for political office, I know who I’d vote for—twice."

"Though it comes from her throat, I drink the sound of her voice. Her I love yous dehydrate me, because they leave me thirsting for more."

"The size of your sighs tell how deeply you’re in love. How I feel is very much like a stressed and distressed midget trying to breathe."

"Tennis is the only sport with love in the score, and that makes it the most romantic. I would be a player, but I wisely use the net to go fishing instead."

"She said she loved me, and I didn’t believe it for a minute. Maybe 59 seconds, but not a whole minute. I may be gullible, but I’m not without an accurate way to measure time."

"Nobody peels a banana before stabbing themselves with it. But that’s exactly how I love—dangerously."

"Personal branding is important to me as a person. It’s also important to me as a non-person. I am a rock."

"Now that I’m 33.3 years old, the days of blue and green are behind me. I have left the earthy and entered into the purple phase of my life."