#word-junkies

"When red fights with white, pink is always the winner. Let that be a lesson in love."

"People don’t buy products—they buy people. It’s called slavery. I mean networking. It’s called networking."

"I’ve spent a lifetime learning to love—the lifetime of a chameleon. But hey, I’ve learned a lot in the last year, though you couldn’t tell because I camouflage my feelings."

"I have a lot of love to give, because free samples are the best way to encourage sales."

"I spoke like a spoke on a wheel, as I went around and around without actually saying what I wanted to say. I was love flustered."

"When the silent flamingo dances pink with desire, I’ll be there, sipping on owl stares and kitten curls."

"I have a tongue like a rose petal, and when I say I love you, it has the fragrance of truth. My words are my garden, and I’m planting our future."

"I want to start a business making mint-flavored sunshine that comes in a can half full of meow-free rainbows. (Leprechauns sold separately.)"

"My boxers should require batteries, because I’m such an exceptional lover that pizza delivery people call me for carry out. 30 minutes or less—as if!"

"I’m learning to play the saxophone so when you feel lonely I can come over and stand in the shadows and play it for you. Two is one too lonely for me."

"If you have a broken heart, I’d like to fix it. Repairs start at just $69. Special delivery charges may apply."

"When we were we, with you is the only place I wanted to be. When we were just two separate souls, I used to dream of a place where we'd come together as one.-Jarod Kintz and Karen Quan"

"I am so extreme that I do parkour like a caterpillar gyrates. My movements are slow and methodical, but eventually my free running takes flight. I love the same exact way, and my romance has the essence of a butterfly."

"I wrote an edible cookbook. The pages are made out of tortillas. It’s also the Book of Love. (Batteries and hot sauce sold separately.)"

"Drinking coffee is like drinking an inverse yawn. I prefer mine with two spoonfuls of “I’m listening."

"I just invented a device that eliminates vice. It looks like a bottle of booze, only it’s empty, because I just drank it."

"I don't own the sunset, but I have a free yearly membership to stream whenever it's on, and this is a life perk that makes me wealthy."

"I would pour you a glass of wine, but wouldn’t it be more romantic if you sipped it out of my armpit?"

"The trick to looking ageless is drinking 55 gallons of #FlashBangWowFuzz every 4-6 hours. 24-hour discounts available."

"There are only four times a year I love you: summer, fall, winter, and spring. I'll love you until the sun stops shining, until the clouds dissipate, when Mount Everest no longer has snow, and the flowers stop blooming.-Jarod Kintz and Karen Quan"