JA

Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

1932 quotes

Quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"Instead of sidewalks, why not sideruns? After all, the pace of life is faster than it has ever been, so I think our infrastructure’s nomenclature should reflect that."
"An empty ketchup bottle full of romantic quotes is just what I need to turn my cheeseburger into the perfect lover. Now you can get more romantic for an upcharge of just 69 cents."
"When I go off the grid, my main source of light will be fireflies. Oh, and the glow that will come from the epic love poem I am writing for you."
"I must be a great leader because many people follow me. Most of the people are police officers, if that gives you any indication of my character."
"Entrepreneurs adopt the ways of the adept and adapt to a changing environment. Actually, entrepreneurs are more enterpreneurs, because they are forever entering into new territory."
"01210 is a pyramid, & worms move like handicapped snakes. My dream belongs in a wheelchair, because I just spilled coffee all over my sleep."
"The best part about being a writer is being able to communicate with people without moving my lips. The mouth is better used for kissing."
"I’ve only been in love one time, I said as I held up my pinky finger. I could have held up my index finger, but I wasn’t in love that long."
"Some guys are the type of people who bring brass knuckles to a fight. I've always thought it prudent to bring some running shoes."
"On a scale of 1 to extroverted, I’m a 3.14159. So is pi. I network like “the ratio of a circle's circumference to its diameter.” Thanks, Wikipedia!"
"Love is a Heaven Cake, with clouds for icing. If there are two pieces left, I guess I can have seconds."
"My brain is divided into two butterflies, and both are in love with your rose-shaped heart. If you've got the garden, I've got my whole life."
"Before the NSA there was the Catholic Church. What is confessional if not a place to gather secrets? No wonder the church had all the power."
"Apparently I’m transparent—with my feelings, not with my body. I’m an emotional ghost, and if you can’t see my love for you it’s because it’s dead."
"The sides of buildings should be like the tops of lakes. I’d fish through your window hoping to catch a smile."
"I sleep when I blink. I dream like I love—continuously."
"A turtle is like a lizard in a bicycle helmet, and I think that’s romantic. That reminds me, I should write a love song called, “Dinner for two—plus one."