funny

"I had a dream about you last night. I could fly. I was going to use this power to impress you, but you were too heavy to carry, so I won you over with my personality instead"

"Vampires. They wrote the book on possessive."

"Would women find vampires even sexier and more romantic if instead of fangs they had rose thorns? It’s thoughts like these I think of when digging in my garden, looking for my one true love (If only I could remember where I buried her!)."

"That's your truck parked up by the factory isn't it?"Magnus pointed. "It's awfully butch for a bookseller."

"I hate witches. Humans had the right idea, burning them at the stake."

"Are you okay?"I (Cassie) call up to him."Um. Define okay."(Ben)"Okay means you're not bleeding to death.""I'm okay."

"Be a Samurai.Because you just never know what's behind the freaking sky."

"The other day I woke up to find my girlfriend already gone from the house, and a sticky note on the fridge that said, "I love you.""Oh my God,"I thought. "Somebody's obsessed with me, and they kidnapped my girlfriend just to get closer to me."

"You’re disoriented. You just woke up. You’re in the future. You’ve been asleep for eight hours."

"My love is expansive. Your love is expensive."

"Who cares even if I didn't?!"Conor shouted back. "They're just stupid berries. Woo-hoo, so scary. Oh, please, please, save me from the berries!"The monster looked at him quizzically. How strange, it said. The words you say tell me you are scared of the berries, but your actions seems to suggest otherwise."

"I cook. My favorite thing to make is love."

"hey. I just wanted to make sure you got home,"I say. "Katniss, I live three houses away from you,"he says."

"*Appendix usually means "small outgrowth from large intestine,"but in this case it means "additional information accompanying main text."Or are those really the same things? Think carefully before you insult this book."

"I wonder what will happen if i put a hand cream on my feet, will they get confused and start clapping?"

"What is pink, blurry, and always leaving when you’re arriving? Love."

"What are you"-Mac "I don't follow"-Jericho "You dropped 30 feet in that warehouse. You should have broken something. What are you?"-Mac "A man with a rope."-Jericho"

"I want to keep a human mouth on my coffee table. It’ll be a great conversation starter."

"Three may keep a secret, if two of them are dead."

"I found your love like I found religion: in an aluminum trashcan in the middle of the Utah desert."