#Funny

"It's funny. No matter how hard you try, you can't close your heart forever. And the minute you open it up, you never know what's going to come in. But when it does, you just have to go for it! Because if you don't, there's not point in being here."

"He had a new girl, and I told him she looked like Marilyn Monroe. He smiled because he thought I meant she was beautiful, and I smiled because I meant she looked like a corpse."

"Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious."

"I'm a happy person. If you want to be around me, you can either choose to be happy too, or follow the signs to the nearest exit!"

"I want to be more like James Bond, and less like Ian Fleming."

"An empty coffee cup is full of hope. Now there’s something worth voting for."

"Can we go back to using Facebook for what it was originally for - looking up exes to see how fat they got?"

"I have the feeling we just made a deal with the devil, and he's going to come back and want our first-born child or something."Daemon waggled his brows. "You want kids? Because you know, practice makes--""Shut up."I shook my head and started walking."

"The most enjoyable book in the world is the phone book, because think of all the sex that went into creating the content."

"I don't suppose you would consider peaceful surrender?"

"My one regret in life is that I am not someone else."

"He started to touch the mechanism under the keyboard, then pulled his hand back with a snap."Ah,"he said. "Must deactivate the security....Turn around, please.""What?""Turn around, Claire. It's a secure password!""You have GOT to be kidding.""Why ever would I joke about that? Please turn."

"I’d rather have 100% of 5 than 50% of 10—especially with love."

"My father chose my name , and my last name was chosen by my ancestors . That’s enough, I myself choose my way"

"You can read minds, and you didn't tell me?” Link stared at me like he just found out I was the Silver Surfer. He rubbed his head nervously. “Hey, man, all that stuff about Lena? I was yankin’ your chain.” He looked away. “Are you doin’ it now? You're doin’ it, aren't you? Dude, get out of my head.” He backed away from me and into the bookshelf.“I can't read your mind, you idiot."

"I had a dream about you last night... you were there."

"I had a dream about you last night. We were plug sockets in the bedroom. We saw only a short part of their day, but we knew everything of it."

"When push comes to shove, I’m going to figure out that this door needs to be pulled to be opened."

"Barzûl!"

"That sounds terrific, thought Cary, just you, your comatose wife your shell-shocked son, and your daughter who hates your guts. Not to mention that your two kids may be in love with each other. Yeah, that sounds like a perfect family reunion."