#Funny

"Webster’s—the original high definition entertainment."

"I hate witches. Humans had the right idea, burning them at the stake."

"I make love with a focus and intensity that most people reserve for sleep."

"Love speaks to the heart like a mime to a mute."

"It's a funny old world."

"..."vers libre,"(free verse) or nine-tenths of it, is not a new metre any more than sleeping in a ditch is a new school of architecture."

"Night clubs are where Americans learn the laws of motion."

"On your birthday you should throw me a party. This is my advice for everybody, especially my clones."

"Cat, hmmm? From where I sit you look more like a Kitten."My head jerked around and I shot him an annoyed look. Oh, I was going to enjoy this, all right. "It's Cat,"I repeated firmly. "Cat Raven.""Whatever you say, Kitten Tweedy."

"My advice to you: Just be yourself. That’s what I’m trying to do. So, can I borrow your clothes?"

"Love has a certain weightlessness to it, much as my meaty penis would on the moon."

"What are you"-Mac "I don't follow"-Jericho "You dropped 30 feet in that warehouse. You should have broken something. What are you?"-Mac "A man with a rope."-Jericho"

"Shane dragged Eve's suitcase into the room and dumped it on the floor beside her bed. “Hey, Dark Princess? Here’s your crap. Also, bite me."

"Failed relationships can be described as so much wasted make-up."

"His fingers lightly grazed my cheek. "I didn't know you before. When you're not there, I can't concentrate. I'm wondering where you are, what you're doing...if you're there and I can see you, I can see you, I can focus. I know it's crazy, but that's how it is.""And crazy is exactly the way I like it,"I said, leaning up to kiss his lips."Obviously,"America muttered under breath."

"Stairs, are they going up or are they going down? They’re so confusing! If love were a physical thing, it would be stairs."

"Every politician has a promising career. Unfortunately, most of them do not keep those promises."

"Dogs have their day but cats have 365."

"I am the washing machine of love. And if you have no idea what I mean, maybe it’s time to let some laundry into your life."

"I must have killed a lot of cows in a past life for Karma to hate me this much."