#Strange

"My boxers should require batteries, because I’m such an exceptional lover that pizza delivery people call me for carry out. 30 minutes or less—as if!"

"A coffin would make a great suitcase. If I folded it neatly, I’ll bet I could pack in all my love for you."

"Nobody knows anything. I deal with people in all walks of life, some of whom should have some idea of what they're doing. And they're all clueless. It's astonishing that any bridges stay up, or that planes don't constantly plummet from the sky. It's heartening, in a strange way."

"You are terrifying and strange and beautiful. Something not everyone knows how to love."

"I want to write my own eulogy, and I want to write it in Latin. It seems only fitting to read a dead language at my funeral."

"Don’t try to hog loneliness and keep it all to yourself. Share it with a special someone."

"For me, I really love 'Tim and Eric' and 'Dr. Steve Brule' and a lot of the Adult Swim shows, so I like strange, weird, sometimes slightly upsetting humor."

"I want my kids to have the things in life that I never had when I was growing up. Things like beards and chest hair."

"It’s impossible for me to applaud your successes when my hands are too busy patting myself on the back. But if I clap for you, and you pat my back, we can both feel like winners."

"They look quite promising in the shop; and not entirely without hope when I get them back into my wardrobe. But then, when I put them on they tend to deteriorate with a very strange rapidity and one feels so sorry for them."

"I left a jar in the doorway to leave the door ajar, but love never walked in."

"33 old people went into a nursing home, and only 34 people came out alive. One old woman died while giving birth to twins."

"I've thought a lot about success, because it's very strange to me that I've been successful."

"You say freak, I say unique."

"What a strange world this would be if we all had the same sense of humor."

"What is pink, blurry, and always leaving when you’re arriving? Love."

"01210 is a pyramid, & worms move like handicapped snakes. My dream belongs in a wheelchair, because I just spilled coffee all over my sleep."

"I want to make something of myself. I believe it’s called a statue."

"I am the three minutes of 180 seconds, and I don’t do refills. I’m a lover, not a farmer."

"My ashtray is full, the carton of cigarettes is empty, and I just cremated grandpa. But I never inhaled—or told him I loved him."