#word-junkies

"Trying to remember a dream from a decade ago is like trying to catch fog in a coffee filter. I could subsist on morning mist."

"The world may be running out of water, but it isn’t running low on music. Let the dancing flow!"

"A turtle is like a lizard in a bicycle helmet, and I think that’s romantic. That reminds me, I should write a love song called, “Dinner for two—plus one."

"If you find yourself thirsting for my love, don’t forget that I sell straws in a variety of flavors. What is the price of romance? Good question. Today only it’s on sale for half-off wholesale prices. Everything must go. My entire inventory of straws is being liquidated."

"Personal branding is important to me as a person. It’s also important to me as a non-person. I am a rock."

"I know a thing or two about love. Well, maybe just a thing. A big, blurry thing, like Bigfoot."

"She was a tall drink of water from Tallahassee, and I was an instant-coffee kind of lover. I got her so hot that neither one of could go to sleep until the ambulance finally came to a complete stop."

"If I could make tea out of your love, would it be hot, or iced? Would it be black, or green? Would it be sweet, or unsweet? Would you offer free refills?"

"She has a sly smile, and eyes that seem to see my essence as they explore my soul and implore my spirit to enter her. I look at her and I see love."

"When red fights with white, pink is always the winner. Let that be a lesson in love."

"Now that I’m 33.3 years old, the days of blue and green are behind me. I have left the earthy and entered into the purple phase of my life."

"I find Bukowski to be so edgy, gritty, and daring that he oozes romance, and if couples read him in bed they would appreciate what they have."

"When two people are cuddled close, they can really warm up one burrito. It may take all night, but I like my cheese melted. #CuddleChampion"

"I feel like dancing. If I bring an extra wheelchair for you, would you like to join me?"

"Self-growth comes from being nurtured, not tortured. I had to learn this the hard way. On sale now: Iron Maiden. Only used once."

"I question the equation like an equestrian, and I realize it’s horseshit. What is the equation? Vote=Change."

"I held her gaze as I held her in my arms. With all that holding I couldn’t hold on to the moment, and it slipped past me into the lonely past."

"She’ll come to love me or she won’t. I’m a fisherman, not a hunter."

"I'm about to get my grind on. My coffee grind. Like a true hustler."

"I walked to work. I paced up and down the bus looking for a seat. Next time I walk to work I’m getting on my treadmill."