#word-junkies

"When tragedy hits close to home, like your neighbor’s house, it really makes you stop and think. And while you’re thinking, I’ll be speeding off in the getaway car."

"I’m just going to keep plugging away until I find success—or an electrical socket that works. This is the secret to gaining worldly power."

"The scent of Florida honeysuckle uplifted in a spring breeze reminds me of your love, and how fresh it was until it blew past me into my past."

"I’m an all-the-water-I-can-drink-in-a-flower-vase kind of lover. Roses and batteries sold separately."

"I make love like the 13th floor is the 14th floor of a hotel. I give it that little extra that takes it to a whole new level."

"If I were a Wild West cowboy, I wouldn’t ride a horse—I’d ride a wheelchair. More romantic."

"My life is but a firefly’s flicker, so I’d better use my brief moment to light up the darkness that covers her path."

"Everything I’ve learned about handshakes is from hands-on experience. Due to hygiene, I only network with rubber glove manufacturers."

"Only a fool would say they’re not a fool. Well, I am not a fool, which is why I say I am a fool."

"Networking isn’t synonymous with partying. If you’re doing it right, partying seems libraryesque in comparison."

"She doesn’t want me to leave, and she doesn’t want me to stay. That’s a double helping of Doesn’t Want Me, and one big I’m Not Hungry back at her."

"If you convert a shower curtain to a dress, I’ll wear my waterproof dancing shoes. Together we’ll move so fluidly people will line up to get cleansed."

"I am a fisherman among farmers, and as a farmer what I grow is tired of waiting for her to love me."

"I have a Rubik’s Cube for a heart, and my love for you is no puzzle. Through twists and spins, life can only get more colorful."

"The words “I love you” swim and swarm as they swirl and form fluidly, and if you are thirsty then how I feel about you is an extra large—with free refills."

"Older doesn't necessarily mean wiser. Some trees live to be hundreds of years old, and what the fuck do they know?"

"Making benches is no walk in the park. It takes one a lot of love to make a bench, and then it takes two to make love on that bench."

"The race is long, and I am sprinting. If I ever see her again, I’ll probably be too out of breath to tell her I love her."

"I often wear camouflaged pants so when I walk I look like a floating torso. I love with the same air of mystery."

"If I could bronze my love, it’d be worthy of a silver medal."