#word-junkies

"I'm going to sell Flash Bang Wow Fuzz (not a drill) in a bottle, but I’m not sure how to market it. Maybe as a drinkable alternative to love."

"I make love like I make coffee. Tuesdays and Thursdays I offer free refills."

"I need to take loving to the extreme, as if it were a sport requiring a helmet and parachute. I wonder if @redbull would sponsor me."

"I don’t want my love with her to wither like grapes on a vine, so I’ll water it with romance to turn it into wine."

"I wrote you a love letter, and I sent it snail mail. Love is forever, and that’s about how long it’ll take to get to you."

"If I could bronze my love, it’d be worthy of a silver medal."

"App idea: in real time track trends as swarms of keywords form, and use this data to invest in the next unicorn #startup.You'll be able to ride that #startup unicorn like you are Billy the Kid, as you watch your profits shoot up."

"She wants to teach me to dance, but how do you instruct water to flow? I'm so fluid all you can do is swim in my moves and drink my essence."

"There are only four times a year I love you: summer, fall, winter, and spring. I'll love you until the sun stops shining, until the clouds dissipate, when Mount Everest no longer has snow, and the flowers stop blooming.-Jarod Kintz and Karen Quan"

"I’m so shy that if you played “Guess The Mannequin” with me and two mannequins, you’d pick me, because I’m the quiet one. Still, it’s important for me to get out and meet people, even if that means hanging around department stores wearing the latest fashions."

"Man has two legs and chairs have four, because we were made to stand out, not sit down—or be sat on. You are your brand—you are not a piece of furniture. Well, this applies to everyone except my grandma, but she’s dead, so she really doesn’t mind being used as a coat rack."

"Unreturned love is like trying to make a sandwich with one slice of bread. Don’t stress—fold it in half and love yourself."

"If you see me pushing a wheelbarrow full of animal balloons up a hill, it may be a Zen koan, or it may be buy two get a third for FREE."

"Nobody sleeps at the Inn of Innovation. You don't wake up, but you do #startup."

"Reading makes you ready for the world. A man who doesn’t read is a man who is easily deceived. You must find that man and make him sign a contract, and you must do it before Satan does. Trust me, the profits are HUGE!"

"All thoughts, secret or spoken, belong in a coffee table book written in Braille, so you can really feel the emotions."

"I'm all for all for one, especially when I'm the one. That's my philosophy when the dinner bill arrives at the table."

"The word very will vary in muchiness. I love you very much, and that won’t vary from day to day."

"The curve of her smile, the curve of the small of her back, the curve of her laugh, everything about her makes me want to be more well-rounded."

"The scent of Florida honeysuckle uplifted in a spring breeze reminds me of your love, and how fresh it was until it blew past me into my past."