#word-junkies

"I wrote you a love letter. I used invisible ink to show I was being transparent with my feelings. And also to hide my feelings."

"Only a fool would say they’re not a fool. Well, I am not a fool, which is why I say I am a fool."

"My heart only grows more powerful the more my flowing love goes unabsorbed, unobserved, and unappreciated."

"My eyes are bronze, my hair is turning silver, and my heart is gold. Oh, and my love for you belongs in the Olympics, because it’s Special."

"I’m learning to play the saxophone so when you feel lonely I can come over and stand in the shadows and play it for you. Two is one too lonely for me."

"My handshake is as firm as cooked spaghetti. So, do you prefer your introductions with Alfredo or marinara sauce?"

"I’ll finish the bottle of wine, while you finish what you were saying about how good it is. If you waste no words, I’ll waste no time."

"You gotta run more than your mouth to escape the treadmill of mediocrity. A true hustler jogs during the day, and sleepwalks at night."

"My feet are dense with dance. I move like I’m wearing concrete boots and I’m trying to tread water. If the music is salsa, I may start gargling."

"This Valentine’s Day rent a poem for your loved. They come in three sizes—small, medium, and romantic. Free refills available to Premium Members."

"My definition of dictionary can’t be found in the dictionary. Dictionary—A linguistic prison, confining words to well-defined cells, with little chance of parole."

"To me, impulsive means foolish. But if a person’s not a little impulsive, they don’t have a pulse."

"I’m a fake fact factory. The things I make are the things I make up. Also, as a side business, I make love. Actually, I just made that up."

"I am the coffee, and God is The Barista. Through me, he may awaken your soul. But the coffee knows not what flows through the mind of The Barista."

"When I die, remember to remove my body from the cooler before you start making the hunch punch. But by all means, do get drunk on my memory."

"When she’s cuddled close, I feel there’s nothing I can’t do, and I can’t do nothing about it, because my heart is her heart for as long as she wants it."

"Every night I cuddle with a blob of unbaked clay I fashioned in the shape of a woman. But that’s what being in love is all about."

"I spoke like a spoke on a wheel, as I went around and around without actually saying what I wanted to say. I was love flustered."

"Don’t ever let the sun set on our love. Not even if it’s so gorgeous it’d make a great postcard. $1.99, if interested."

"I’ll stand by you forever. Or at least until noon, and then I’ll go stand under the cabana. Isn’t love amazing?"