#word-junkies

"The scent of honeysuckle on a Florida spring night always reminds me of her. The memories of us bloom yellow in my mind."

"The difference between you and everyone else, is everyone else. And that’s a lot, so you should feel special."

"I’ve changed, and she’s changed, but we haven’t changed together. We were in separate dressing rooms the whole time we dated."

"There’s sleep to be found here, and I’m going to find it—with my eyes closed. I’m like Sherlock Holmes meets Helen Keller. #Networking"

"I watered your memory every day to keep it alive, and after all this time it's like a tall cypress tree rooted deep in the St. John's River."

"Roses may say “I love you,” but the cactus says “Fuck off."

"I don’t eat Sloppy Joes. I eat Tidy Josephs."

"Every guy says he's not like every guy, thus proving he is like every guy. Show me a guy who's different, and I'll tell you to stop pointing at me."

"When I go off the grid, my main source of light will be fireflies. Oh, and the glow that will come from the epic love poem I am writing for you."

"Is there a drug that will illuminate the mind and eliminate all the drugs the modern medical system will try to convince you that you need to take?"

"I just bought a bag of potato chips. It was a smart buy, because when this world runs out of clean air, I’ll have plenty in that one little purchase."

"People don’t buy products—they buy people. It’s called slavery. I mean networking. It’s called networking."

"If it’s the last kiss, we’d better make it last. I hope you don’t have anywhere to be, because I have the rest of my life free."

"When the silent flamingo dances pink with desire, I’ll be there, sipping on owl stares and kitten curls."

"Your love story, I don’t want to give away the ending, but both you and your lover die."

"If you find yourself thirsting for my love, don’t forget that I sell straws in a variety of flavors. What is the price of romance? Good question. Today only it’s on sale for half-off wholesale prices. Everything must go. My entire inventory of straws is being liquidated."

"A tornado is the ultimate coffee grinder. Just add water, and you’ll wake the whole trailer park."

"I have a deep respect for shallow pockets. They keep politicians honest."

"I hide how I feel, and I hide the fact that I hide how I feel, but I can't bury the past without having a funeral of the heart."

"If you want to steal my heart, you must realize it's not a one-time heist. This theft will take every minute of the rest of your life."