Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"Her name is Faith, or that’s what I believe it to be."

"My past is black and my future is blank. My only canvas is the present. The best color to paint with is love."

"The internet is a knowledge omelet. Sometimes I just want the purity of scrambled eggs that only a book can provide."

"Better than learning how to speak a foreign language, is to start speaking the truth. But few people will listen, because they just don’t understand."

"I arose like a rose, and this is how I knew I was in love. In the garden of life, I’m better off in your neighbor’s yard."

"Her love was too cold, like an anti-oven. That's called a freezer, and sometimes it burns food. She gave me heartburn, just like coffee, and it really woke me up to the reality of relationships."

"I wear a ten-gallon cowboy hat. That’s where I keep my fish tank. When you’re a farmer of love, you’ve always got pink kissers on your mind."

"My goal is to be as forgiving as a man with amnesia, but love as if I remember and cherish all the things you do that make me smile."

"2 out of 4 numbers prefer being in the bottom 50 percent. Half of all lovers also prefer being on the bottom."

"I’d rather sell one thing for one million dollars, than sell one million things for one dollar each. I feel the same about my love and women."

"You gotta run more than your mouth to escape the treadmill of mediocrity. A true hustler jogs during the day, and sleepwalks at night."

"I have a doctorate degree from the School of Hard Knocks. I studied door-to-door salesmanship. This was before the doorbell was invented."

"It takes guts to love with gusto. Most people love as if they wish they were invisible, and then they wonder why their affections go unnoticed."

"The word very will vary in muchiness. I love you very much, and that won’t vary from day to day."

"Coin a new word and hear it jingle in your pocket with all your other change. My love for you is sofacouchsitsitting, so you’d better buckle up."

"White letters plus white paper equals invisibility. Just because you can’t see my love for you, doesn’t mean I didn’t write about it."

"If I fail to succeed, I have succeeded in failing."

"Water is translucent, but not invisible. But a glass half full is half translucent, half invisible, and you cannot drink what you cannot see, which may be why I am so thirsty for her love."

"My girlfriend bought me a collared shirt for my birthday, mainly so I don’t get too far ahead of her when she takes me for a walk."

"In a gust of guts and gusto, I told her of my love for her. Then, like a tornado, she spun what I said into something that terrorized Kansas."