#humor

"Once you finish having sex, what is there to do but start over?"

"Extinguished theologians lie about the cradle of every science as the strangled snakes beside that of Hercules; and history records that whenever science and orthodoxy have been fairly opposed, the latter has been forced to retire from the lists, bleeding and crushed if not annihilated; scotched, if not slain."

"Hey, Rosalie? Do you know how to drown a blonde? Stick a mirror to the bottom of a pool."

"Boy, those French! They have a different word for everything."

"Graffiti is one of the few tools you have if you have almost nothing. And even if you don't come up with a picture to cure world poverty you can make someone smile while they're having a piss."

"Meek [10w] Blessed are the meek, for they've learned how to duck."

"I peddle my wares as fast as I pedal my bicycle and petal my flowers, and that’s why my sales growth seems so slow. But given time, my brand will be in full bloom."

"If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?"

"Love on Fire [10w] A man in love cannot see fire or smell smoke."

"In the Future [1]: (criminals) In the future we're going to find a wayto turn criminals into wordsand then place them in parentheses."

"Fodder for Poets [10w] Childhood memories are the most seminal sustenance for creating poetry."

"Infinite Promise The carrot of infinite promise always dangles just inches beyond our noses.The trick is to surreptitiously switch that carrot for a zucchini."

"…well just call me Hannibal Lecter. With cleavage."

"You can laugh! But people used to believe there were no such things as the Blibbering Humdinger or the Crumple-Horned Snorkack!"

"See? This is why I'm not religious. I couldn't possibly keep my mouth shut long enough to get along with everyone else."

"You're an idiot.""I've never claimed to be otherwise."

"With friends like me, who needs mannequins? My love for you is statuesque. Come, let us dance like we’re made of stone."

"That's brain tissue. How can you-?"Claire shut her mouth, fast. "Never mind. I don't think I wanna know.""Truly, I think that's best. Please take it."He showed his teeth briefly in a very unsettling grin. "I'm giving you a piece of my mind.""I so wish you hadn't said that."

"Oh, don't mind me,"came an extremely sarcastic voice near the wall. “You two go ahead and make out–I'll just sit here and bleed quietly."

"Dev-"Come in peace or leave in pieces"