#word-junkies

"My sole possession is my passion, for no one can rob me of it. More fiery than love, it does not depend on another to blaze."

"She's beautiful, but so what? If the University of Florida taught me anything, it's that beautiful women are everywhere. The trick is to find the diamond among all the glittering cubic zirconias."

"I ordered a beer and then I ordered another beer, because why finish one when I can finish two? Having only one is great for love, but bad for beer."

"When she tried to seduce me, I got suspicious, thinking she was just after my massive fortune. Then I relaxed, when I remembered I'm poor."

"I like my coffee like Colfax Avenue mixed with Atlantic Boulevard, and if you're buying then I'm driving. Let's sip this romance slowly."

"The waves were choppy, like Chuck Norris' karate hands. The ocean would have been still, if I weren't making love in it."

"Life goal: Swim in a lake full of soup, and instead of bathing suits we’ll wear Ziploc bags while we make love like we’re feeding the homeless."

"I deal in the ideal idea. Buy, sell, or trade, I am offering the best prices on Love."

"I used to sell hellos by the wave until I found out Dark Jar Tin Zoo was reselling them on eBay as goodbyes. Now I’m a yawn distributor."

"The chair I want for my office has wheels, so I can put it on my treadmill and get some exercise while I work. Likewise, we can’t let a love like ours just roll on by without trying to work things out."

"I am a fisherman among farmers, and as a farmer what I grow is tired of waiting for her to love me."

"Every day I think today could be my last day. My only fear is dying without telling her I love her one more time. All I pray for is one more time."

"I have two ears, so why can’t I listen to two things at once? A politician only has one mouth, yet doublespeaks all the time."

"Entrepreneurs adopt the ways of the adept and adapt to a changing environment. Actually, entrepreneurs are more enterpreneurs, because they are forever entering into new territory."

"I just bought some cargo pants, so I can deliver goods at the speed of a walk. It’s an environmentally friendly #startup."

"Anything disguised as anything is chameleon. A ghost disguised as an unobservable and invisible object is a great example. Still, that’s easier to see than the love my ex wife had for me."

"I can't throw away cologne because that is Nostalgia in a Bottle, the scent of yesterday, and it reminds me of her more clearly than her picture."

"Let us embrace each other like we have the arms of two chairs. Let us dance like our legs are those of a table. We should do dinner sometime."

"The cat hair floated in the air like a sound vibration, and I plucked it like a guitar string. Sometimes I can be so musical I’m like a living love song."

"It’s easier to hide your smoking habit on a foggy day. Let that be a lesson for you and your secret lover."