#word-junkies

"I got a zero. That’s like a perfect ten—it’s only one away from being flawless. Remember this next time you think you have nothing."

"I am restless when I rest. I sleep like I’m engaged in an invisible wrestling match. Naturally, I almost always win."

"My cat is ignorant of the law. But then so am I. That means I am not his master, because we are both slaves."

"She brews a bruise on my heart, and drinks it like a beer. She calls it love, but she would, because she’s drunk on my torment."

"I give 110% in love. If that seems absurd, just know that I used presidential voting machines to calculate that number. It's totally legit."

"She likes her wine white, and that’s how I like my clam chowder. So chuggable!"

"Making love to me is amazing. Wait, I meant: making love, to me, is amazing. The absence of two little commas nearly transformed me into a sex god."

"If you need me I’ll be sitting over there, on the ground, next to the empty chair. The emptiness always reminds me of your love."

"I think trees should bloom earlier in the spring. They act like they are on a schedule. It’s not like they have anywhere to go."

"I don’t like my circle of friends, so I’m changing them to a square. Love shapes our lives, so why not shape who we love?"

"There’s no reason to not be humble, because as great as you may be, you can always be greater."

"I type on my keyboard like I’m Beethoven on the piano. My words may be silent in the air, but they ring as music in my mind while I write."

"If you need me I’ll be napping in the supplies closet. The most important part of an attack is the planning."

"To become one who believes two become one, you need love in your life."

"The thirstiest bird is surely the swallow. My love is so fluid I’ll bet drinking it would give you the gift of flight."

"Quit making shade while I’m trying to make noon. Go put on a blindfold and act like midnight. There’s leftover love in the freezer if you get cold."

"Two become one when two are in love—or when the waitress asks about our dinner bill. I’ll pay next time, I promise."

"I just invented a hug machine. It’s solar powered so you can use it when you feel depressed, like on a cloudy day. Shit."

"I will never claim to know what you are thinking. I only hope I am on your mind."

"If my favorite three letters are X, Z, and Q, then my favorite word is Xazaqazax. It means “a lover of love."