Jarod Kintz, Love quotes for the ages. Specifically ages 18-81.

"Love is like jumping out of an airplane with no parachute. But there’s no need to be frightened, because that plane is still on the ground."

"I make love like the 13th floor is the 14th floor of a hotel. I give it that little extra that takes it to a whole new level."

"I water fake plants, because I’m growing a garden of fake mustaches. Lest no man (or woman) question my ability as a lover."

"Love isn’t all flowers, candles, and dancing midgets. No, it is much, much taller than all that."

"I water fake plants, because I’m growing a garden of fake mustaches. Lest no man (or woman) question my ability as a lover."

"We can’t be lovers because we both have mustaches. But since you’re a lady, and I’m a gentleman, I’ll shave mine off."

"Your love story, I don’t want to give away the ending, but both you and your lover die."

"I have never seduced a fish taco for selfish reasons. I am an altruistic lover."

"I make love like the 13th floor is the 14th floor of a hotel. I give it that little extra that takes it to a whole new level."

"Love is the best gift because it’s free to give and priceless to receive."

"Love is the most amazing feeling in the world. Let me double check. Yep, love is a feeling."

"Two butterflies in two socks could walk faster than I can run. A love song will jog your memory like I jog like Roger Bannister in a wheelchair."

"I often wear camouflaged pants so when I walk I look like a floating torso. I love with the same air of mystery."

"Let love find you. Don’t go looking for it. The best way to attract a mate is to post an ad on Craigslist titled, “Have lube, will travel."

"I know a thing or two about love. Well, maybe just a thing. A big, blurry thing, like Bigfoot."

"Love is the most amazing feeling in the world. Let me double check. Yep, love is a feeling."

"A string of burglaries is a crime necklace. Everything I have can be stolen except love, because I give it all away."

"She was washing all the dishes by hand, so I bought her a machine. I bought her a lawnmower. That’s what you do when you’re in love."

"If my last name were Hunter, I’d probably be a fisherman. That’s just the kind of lover I am."

"As much as I want to make love to you, I’d rather make love to your clone."