Jarod Kintz, Love quotes for the ages. Specifically ages 18-81.

"The waves were choppy, like Chuck Norris' karate hands. The ocean would have been still, if I weren't making love in it."

"We made eyes at each other, and then we made love. We also made other things too, like meatloaf."

"Stairs, are they going up or are they going down? They’re so confusing! If love were a physical thing, it would be stairs."

"Why take the stairs when someone else can take them for you? Love is like a flight of stairs—somebody’s going to take them, so I may as well be unselfish and take the elevator."

"I’m running from the very person I’m chasing, and this is how I know I’m in love."

"A string of burglaries is a crime necklace. Everything I have can be stolen except love, because I give it all away."

"She has a sly smile, and eyes that seem to see my essence as they explore my soul and implore my spirit to enter her. I look at her and I see love."

"Making benches is no walk in the park. It takes one a lot of love to make a bench, and then it takes two to make love on that bench."

"My love is rare, like a hornless unicorn."

"I’ve got a way with love. Away with love."

"She didn't say it, I only thought she said it. So really it was my thought, my words, and not hers. How could I confuse "I love you"with "May I take your order?"

"In a bookstore you can find me in the romance section, because I’m not a lover, I’m a reader."

"I wrote an edible cookbook. The pages are made out of tortillas. It’s also the Book of Love. (Batteries and hot sauce sold separately.)"

"Life, it’s made up of two things—time and love. A watch tells one, but what tells the other? We tell each other."

"To become one who believes two become one, you need love in your life."

"I cook. My favorite thing to make is love."

"It’s me and you, or me and knitting. Don’t make me choose. Ugh, #love."

"The waves were choppy, like Chuck Norris' karate hands. The ocean would have been still, if I weren't making love in it."

"I’ve got a way with love. Away with love."

"Love is you wearing her favorite shirt of yours, just like you did yesterday and the day before. And the day before that too."