Jarod Kintz, Love quotes for the ages. Specifically ages 18-81.

"I’d rather have 100% of 5 than 50% of 10—especially with love."

"Love is the only gift that’s acceptable to give away as soon as you get it."

"I wrote an edible cookbook. The pages are made out of tortillas. It’s also the Book of Love. (Batteries and hot sauce sold separately.)"

"Love is like whoa! Actually, it's closer to woe."

"I’ve got a way with love. Away with love."

"Her love was like cigarette smoke stirred into coffee. I drank it so fast it made me cough, but she’s not offering a refill at any price."

"We fell in love like two medium pizzas in one large stomach. I wish dad would have saved a few slices for us."

"She’ll come to love me or she won’t. I’m a fisherman, not a hunter."

"I’d rather have 100% of 5 than 50% of 10—especially with love."

"I make love like the 13th floor is the 14th floor of a hotel. I give it that little extra that takes it to a whole new level."

"I often wear camouflaged pants so when I walk I look like a floating torso. I love with the same air of mystery."

"To love someone as much as you love yourself, that is the ideal. Especially if that someone is your clone."

"Her love was like cigarette smoke stirred into coffee. I drank it so fast it made me cough, but she’s not offering a refill at any price."

"I love you because I love you, and if you don’t like it you can use my circular logic as a noose and hang yourself."

"If my last name were Hunter, I’d probably be a fisherman. That’s just the kind of lover I am."

"Love is like learning to ride a midget, which I’ve never done because I’m afraid of heights."

"A string of burglaries is a crime necklace. Everything I have can be stolen except love, because I give it all away."

"Life, it’s made up of two things—time and love. A watch tells one, but what tells the other? We tell each other."

"To love someone as much as you love yourself, that is the ideal. Especially if that someone is your clone."

"Love is like learning to ride a midget, which I’ve never done because I’m afraid of heights."