Jarod Kintz, Love quotes for the ages. Specifically ages 18-81.

"I wanted to tell her “I love you” back, but I guess in waiting for the perfect moment (the next commercial break), I ended up completely forgetting."

"Your love story, I don’t want to give away the ending, but both you and your lover die."

"Love waits patiently. In the lobby. I’ll be with you as soon as I can."

"She has a sly smile, and eyes that seem to see my essence as they explore my soul and implore my spirit to enter her. I look at her and I see love."

"Love is like jumping out of an airplane with no parachute. But there’s no need to be frightened, because that plane is still on the ground."

"Making benches is no walk in the park. It takes one a lot of love to make a bench, and then it takes two to make love on that bench."

"Your love story, I don’t want to give away the ending, but both you and your lover die."

"What is pink, blurry, and always leaving when you’re arriving? Love."

"I wrote an edible cookbook. The pages are made out of tortillas. It’s also the Book of Love. (Batteries and hot sauce sold separately.)"

"My love is rare, like a hornless unicorn."

"In a blind taste-test, my kisses were rated as Helen Kelleresque. Women love how the only sense I keenly possess is nonsense."

"If my last name were Hunter, I’d probably be a fisherman. That’s just the kind of lover I am."

"I water fake plants, because I’m growing a garden of fake mustaches. Lest no man (or woman) question my ability as a lover."

"Stairs, are they going up or are they going down? They’re so confusing! If love were a physical thing, it would be stairs."

"Love is like learning to ride a midget, which I’ve never done because I’m afraid of heights."

"Making benches is no walk in the park. It takes one a lot of love to make a bench, and then it takes two to make love on that bench."

"I both made the knife-fighting team, and I got cut. If only love were so easy to understand."

"We made eyes at each other, and then we made love. We also made other things too, like meatloaf."

"She has a sly smile, and eyes that seem to see my essence as they explore my soul and implore my spirit to enter her. I look at her and I see love."

"Two become one when two are in love—or when the waitress asks about our dinner bill. I’ll pay next time, I promise."