Jarod Kintz, Love quotes for the ages. Specifically ages 18-81.

"If my last name were Hunter, I’d probably be a fisherman. That’s just the kind of lover I am."

"Your love story, I don’t want to give away the ending, but both you and your lover die."

"To become one who believes two become one, you need love in your life."

"My nickname isn’t Scarface—it’s Scarf Ace. I make knitted neck warmers like I make love—one grandmother at a time."

"In a blind taste-test, my kisses were rated as Helen Kelleresque. Women love how the only sense I keenly possess is nonsense."

"He said he came in second place, so I assumed there were only two competitors. But you never know with love, there may have been a third party involved."

"I believe in true love. But my opinion is tainted, because I also believe in Bigfoot, aliens, and in the existence of honest politicians."

"My boxers should require batteries, because I’m such an exceptional lover that pizza delivery people call me for carry out. 30 minutes or less—as if!"

"I have never seduced a fish taco for selfish reasons. I am an altruistic lover."

"I wish every envelope enclosed a love letter. It’s this hope that leads me to open strangers’ mail. So you see, I’m a romantic, not an NSA employee."

"Love is silence multiplied by noise and divided by two."

"It’s me and you, or me and knitting. Don’t make me choose. Ugh, #love."

"We made love like two folding lawn chairs. We were both motionless, but the possibility of movement permeated the moment."

"She has a sly smile, and eyes that seem to see my essence as they explore my soul and implore my spirit to enter her. I look at her and I see love."

"I didn’t tackle him. I gave him a flying hug. Sometimes love is up in the air until it hits you."

"I wrote an edible cookbook. The pages are made out of tortillas. It’s also the Book of Love. (Batteries and hot sauce sold separately.)"

"Last time I arm-wrestled, I broke my leg. Boy, what I wouldn’t do for love."

"She was washing all the dishes by hand, so I bought her a machine. I bought her a lawnmower. That’s what you do when you’re in love."

"She didn't say it, I only thought she said it. So really it was my thought, my words, and not hers. How could I confuse "I love you"with "May I take your order?"

"She has a sly smile, and eyes that seem to see my essence as they explore my soul and implore my spirit to enter her. I look at her and I see love."