Jarod Kintz, Love quotes for the ages. Specifically ages 18-81.

"What is pink, blurry, and always leaving when you’re arriving? Love."

"My love is rare, like a hornless unicorn."

"The only drink I like ice in is water, because you can’t water down water. I’m like that with love, too. Don’t you dare add any ice to the hot liquid loving I’m trying to pour all over you."

"It doesn’t take a hurricane to blow out a birthday candle. Let this be a lesson in love—and cake etiquette."

"Me: On time. Love: Late. Death: Early. Seriously, why are you late?"

"Love isn’t all flowers, candles, and dancing midgets. No, it is much, much taller than all that."

"I make love like the 13th floor is the 14th floor of a hotel. I give it that little extra that takes it to a whole new level."

"It doesn’t take a hurricane to blow out a birthday candle. Let this be a lesson in love—and cake etiquette."

"I don’t want to make love last, I want to make love second to last. The last thing we’ll do is cuddle."

"In a blind taste-test, my kisses were rated as Helen Kelleresque. Women love how the only sense I keenly possess is nonsense."

"We made eyes at each other, and then we made love. We also made other things too, like meatloaf."

"I both made the knife-fighting team, and I got cut. If only love were so easy to understand."

"I make love like the 13th floor is the 14th floor of a hotel. I give it that little extra that takes it to a whole new level."

"It’s me and you, or me and knitting. Don’t make me choose. Ugh, #love."

"I’d rather have 100% of 5 than 50% of 10—especially with love."

"Love waits patiently. In the lobby. I’ll be with you as soon as I can."

"Stairs, are they going up or are they going down? They’re so confusing! If love were a physical thing, it would be stairs."

"I cook. My favorite thing to make is love."

"To become one who believes two become one, you need love in your life."

"Your love story, I don’t want to give away the ending, but both you and your lover die."