Jarod Kintz, Love quotes for the ages. Specifically ages 18-81.

"I water fake plants, because I’m growing a garden of fake mustaches. Lest no man (or woman) question my ability as a lover."

"Love is like jumping out of an airplane with no parachute. But there’s no need to be frightened, because that plane is still on the ground."

"I’d rather have 100% of 5 than 50% of 10—especially with love."

"Why take the stairs when someone else can take them for you? Love is like a flight of stairs—somebody’s going to take them, so I may as well be unselfish and take the elevator."

"Love is the most amazing feeling in the world. Let me double check. Yep, love is a feeling."

"I’d rather have 100% of 5 than 50% of 10—especially with love."

"Life, it’s made up of two things—time and love. A watch tells one, but what tells the other? We tell each other."

"I water fake plants, because I’m growing a garden of fake mustaches. Lest no man (or woman) question my ability as a lover."

"Love isn’t all flowers, candles, and dancing midgets. No, it is much, much taller than all that."

"She has a sly smile, and eyes that seem to see my essence as they explore my soul and implore my spirit to enter her. I look at her and I see love."

"A crate full of discreet would appear to be empty. But it’s not. It’s full of my love for you."

"You catch more flies with honey than you do with chopsticks. Let this be a lesson in love."

"I’d rather have 100% of 5 than 50% of 10—especially with love."

"Why take the stairs when someone else can take them for you? Love is like a flight of stairs—somebody’s going to take them, so I may as well be unselfish and take the elevator."

"Her love was like cigarette smoke stirred into coffee. I drank it so fast it made me cough, but she’s not offering a refill at any price."

"As much as I want to make love to you, I’d rather make love to your clone."

"She has a sly smile, and eyes that seem to see my essence as they explore my soul and implore my spirit to enter her. I look at her and I see love."

"If you don’t know how to love, then any old robot or mechanical device would best suit your relationship style. In this situation, vacuum cleaners might make the best lovers."

"Two butterflies in two socks could walk faster than I can run. A love song will jog your memory like I jog like Roger Bannister in a wheelchair."

"Asking me if I’m in love is like asking a mortician if now is the best time to die."